Don’t try to get attention. Be yourself and see who shows up.


​In marketing, we typically learn about the importance of getting people’s attention.


To try to stand out, to be more charming, to be more persuasive.

​But that’s not what I’m trying to do...
If anything, I’m trying to blend in. I know that my ideal audience will spot me, even in a sea of social media posts.

Being flashy tends to get unwanted attention. Irrelevant comments. More spam. It may seem like more followers, yet strangely, still poor sales in one’s business.

Your audience may grow in the wrong direction, which increases your marketing costs over time, as it costs more to reach more people. Yet you’ll have to wade through the many fake followers to find and connect with your true fans.

When we try to get attention, it is unsustainable. People may find out how we are “normally” and become disillusioned… so we have to keep up a pretense to keep their attention.

A client of mine, with experience using visual interruption techniques to grow her audience, wrote:

“People who reply to the ‘pattern interrupt’ are maybe 80% the worst possible leads I’ve ever dealt with… if you have a hide like a rhinoceros and are willing to deal with lots of ugly, so you can finally hit the few good leads… it can eventually work. But is it worth it??”


Your authenticity is greatly valuable

Doing anything deliberate to try to get attention will take you out of your authentic energy.

What I try is to be less motivated by the thought of your praise or purchases, and instead, to explore how I can resonate with you from a more authentic space.

If you practice simply being more deeply yourself, you will naturally be unique.

And you’ll automatically be more attractive to your true fans.

We need to remember that how we truly are is of incalculable value to the people we’re most meant to serve.

We simply need to show up daily with our authenticity.

Beware of typical marketing advice

Pay attention to the marketing teachings you’re learning from. Notice how many marketers are in the energy of cynical attention-grabbing. Baiting their audience into watching or reading. Creating a presence that feels artificial and inflated.

These are normal behaviors in the online marketing world. They want us to believe that humans are constantly distracted and therefore require flashy and baiting tactics to finally pay attention… to “get them” to buy from us.

It’s true that all humans are distractible. But the more you assume they need flashiness to pay attention, the more you’ll turn away your true fans. And the ones who are left? They’ll need you to be constantly impressive.

You’ll end up behaving in ways outside your groundedness and personal truth.

Your ideal audience is seeking you

The truth is that your ideal audience is already looking for someone like you. They don’t know what you look like, but they feel a resonance when they encounter you.

As an example, I often make text-only posts (it’s mostly what I do on my FB page, see here: George Kao’s Facebook Posts). Even though text-only posts might seem “boring” on Facebook, my ideal audience immediately has a feeling of recognition: “there’s something deeply true about this message… let me keep reading.”

I post videos that aren’t edited. They’re one-take live videos. Your ideal audience probably doesn’t need you to edit much, if at all. However, if you enjoy editing your videos, go for it. Just be sure it’s a process that’s personally sustainable for you.

It’s not that we should never be artful or entertaining. It’s about doing it from our authenticity rather than any feeling of attention-seeking or desperation.

Are we enjoying our marketing? Are we tapping into the unconscious flow that comes from genuine expression? Are we compassionately serving our audience? These ways help us to create without thinking about ourselves and the praise we might get.

Show up and enjoy the process of expressing your truest thoughts. Be the version of you as if you are with a dear friend who accepts you completely. Yearn to connect your joy to theirs, your passion to theirs.

If you enjoy expressing beauty or humor, then do it! But don’t try to be beautiful or funny. Be as if you were with a dear friend.

Take on an attitude of curiosity about who will resonate with you just as you are. Treat your audience like they accept your authenticity, and you will attract those who will do exactly that.