Niche Mates, Not Competitors
How do you feel about the word "competition"?
For us self-employed people, that word can create anxiety and resistance… being "competitive" tends to make us less cooperative.
Instead, I recommend a different word for fellow souls doing similar work: niche mates.
A niche mate is another worthy human being who occupies the same industry niche as you. They, too, have families to feed, and dreams they hope to achieve. And, similar to us, they also have hidden suffering in their life that, if we only knew, would inspire our deep compassion. 🙏🧡
Like us, our nichemates deserve to be supported!
The world is starving for genuine, win-win collaborations. Let's find a better way to think about — and work with — our nichemates.
The 3 options:
When it comes to others in our niche, there are essentially three options:
- Fight or fear each other. This is the mainstream default… discouragement, avoidance, and sometimes even aggression, when people talk badly about their "competitors."
- Observe and learn. We can watch each other's business and marketing behavior, and learn from it, since we're serving similar people.
- Collaborate. Even better: we can activate our creativity and abundance mindset, and figure out ways to grow our niche together.
Because "competitor" is the default word, most people default to the first option. If a little wiser, they might get "strategic" and try the second — though often while hoping the competition will eventually lose.
I hope we can be more mindful… and choose to collaborate with, instead of compete against.
We can all have enough…
I really believe this – every single business can have enough clients, if only we were more active in creating win-win relationships.
Think of a street known for its restaurants. All those eateries side by side aren't starving each other… the street becomes a destination. Diners show up because of the abundance of choices. The cluster lifts everyone.
The same is true for your niche. More good practitioners in your field makes the whole field more visible and more trusted. It sends more people looking for exactly the kind of help you offer… and some of them will find you.
A nichemate is another business, like yours, that provides a similar service for a similar audience. Like you, they have insecurities as well as genius zones (that might complement yours!) They need to support themselves, as you do. They deserve good opportunities and help, just as you do.
(Wondering about your own niche? Don't niche yourself — do niche your offers.)
In fact, your nichemates are either your best mirrors, or your best partners.
Nichemates as Mirrors
It's difficult to see how good (or bad) you look — and adjust your appearance — unless you look into a mirror.
Similarly, it's hard to figure out the best ways to improve your own branding, messaging, and marketing, unless you look at your nichemates. They essentially mirror your business!
When you study your nichemates, you're naturally able to critique and praise:
Do you love something they're doing? Then do more of it yourself — not copying, but emulating in your own style, voice, and unique energy signature.
Do you dislike something they're doing? Take that silent criticism and refrain from doing it in your own business, too. (If you're friendly with them, and they seem open to feedback, you might offer a constructive critique… kindly, of course.)
Study your nichemates
Ask around your network for who else does similar work to yours. Write down 5 nichemates.
Don't know 5 yet? AI can help you find them. Have AI study your website or a few pieces of your content — or simply ask it to interview you about your work — and then help you discover who else serves a similar audience in a similar way. (Verify what it finds, of course… then follow the ones who resonate with you.)
Once you have your list, AI can also help you study each nichemate at a depth that wasn't possible before. For example:
"Here's my work: [your website or about page]. Here's a nichemate's: [their site or content]. Where do our values and approaches overlap? Where do we differ? And what do I offer that they don't — so I can position myself truthfully and distinctly, not as a copy?"
For each nichemate, here are questions worth answering (with or without AI's help):
- What are 2 things you like about their services, that you might want to emulate?
- What's broken? What's missing? What's unnecessary?
- What's unique about your services that sets you apart?
- What are 2 things you like about their marketing… and 2 things you don't?
- Are you addressing the same audience? Or what's different about yours?
From these insights, you can then modify and improve your own business.
Instead of copying, focus on being of service…
Don't try to match your nichemates' offerings, feature by feature.
For each feature they provide, ask how it's trying to solve a problem for their clients. Then ask yourself:
- Is there a better way to solve this problem?
- Can I solve it in a different way — in my own style, with my own experience and wisdom?
- Can I solve it in a way that's more effective or delightful, based on what I know about my clients?
Focus on solving your ideal clients' needs in the best way you know how.
Nichemates as Partners
When you find a nichemate with a similar-sized audience as yours, contact them casually, to see if they might be open to finding ways to collaborate or mutually support each other.
Some people won't respond. That's ok. The few who do respond positively may be abundance-minded, like you, and, available to maybe make a new friend :)
Why our nichemates can be some of our best partners:
Your offerings might complement each other — helping the same audience in different ways or styles.
And consider this: your audience includes some people who will never buy from you — it's just statistics! — and the same is true for your nichemate's audience. Yet those same non-buyers might happily buy from your nichemate if they were endorsed by you… and vice versa.
Because your audiences are similar, you can refer business to each other. There may be no better referral sources for you than your nichemates.
When you introduce a nichemate's work to your audience, you're lending them your trust. And when they deliver a quality service or product, everyone benefits: your audience gains an alternative that may serve them better… your nichemate gains a new reader or client… and you deepen trust with everyone involved.
Same thing happens when your nichemate introduces your work to their audience, too.
In your research, also take note of who is partnering with your nichemates. Who endorses them? Who introduces their offerings to their own audience? Those same people might enjoy introducing yours, too.
For what deepening collaboration can look like — from tiny first experiments all the way to co-created projects — I've mapped out five levels here: The Collaboration Spiral.
Reaching out to potential nichemates:
If you have trouble writing outreach messages, AI can help you draft a thoughtful message that references that nichemate's actual work, and what's unique about what they do, and what values or priorities you share.
One guardrail: the care must be real. Let AI help you articulate appreciation you already feel — never manufacture appreciation you don't. Specificity is what shows care. "Great content!" disappears into the scroll… but "I loved how you framed the difference between rest and avoidance in your recent post" tells them that another human truly saw them.
As AI keeps improving, it will keep getting better at helping us say what we mean. The sincerity, though… that part will always be ours.
The more AI improves, the more we need our nichemates…
As AI becomes more capable, people will spend more and more time with these machines… and less time and energy on imperfect human-to-human interaction.
But there are unique and important things we can only learn from our fellow humans: the courage we absorb from watching a colleague do the brave thing we've been avoiding… the comfort of being understood by someone walking the same path… the unexpected doors that only open through relationship.
The better AI gets, the more valuable genuine human connection becomes.
Real business happens in conversation, not in contemplation.
So this is the moment to lean into netcaring with our nichemates. The scarcer human attention becomes, the more each connection is worth.
And every improvement in AI makes this truer.
Your turn…
There are always more than enough ideal clients… the world is more reachable than ever.
Connect and share with your nichemates, and there is more than enough for everyone.
Try this: think of one nichemate whose work you appreciate. Reach out today and tell them, specifically, what you admire. No ask attached.
(Feel free to name a nichemate in the comments, too — let them know what you appreciate about them!)
And if you'd like to practice this way of relating alongside fellow soulpreneurs, you're warmly invited to the free Netcaring webinar.
May your nichemates become your mirrors, your partners… and some of your dearest colleagues. 🙏🧡
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